Humour
An interview with Death
Dear friends, i visited Death in this routine of mine of discovering what can't be seen. We discussed much because it had made a party and it seems death was drunk by the time we talked. learn what we managed to discuss as you read on...
Joshua:
Marcel: Muraho mutware w’ikuzimu?
Rupfu: Muraho wa kinyabuzima we? Ariko ur
ibeshye ntabwo ndi umutware w’ikuzimu kuko nkorera hose mu masanzure yose(univers).
Marcel: Ubundi izina ryawe ni irihe?
Rupfu: Nitwa Rupfu
Marcel:Uretse umurimo wo kwica ubundi ntakandi kazi ufite?
Rupfu: Hahahaha!!!Urumva nshobora kukavanga n’akandi kazi nkabishobora?eh! niko konyine nkora kandi karavunanye kuko ngakora ijoro n’amanywa.
Marcel: Karakuvuna? Ariko ubona ibihembo bitubutse?
Rupfu: Sinkorera igihembo ndi umukoranabushake.
Marcel: Ese ubundi ukorera nde?
Rupfu:Nkorera Imana na Satani (Shitani)
Marcel: Akazi kawe gahoraho? Cyangwa n’ak’ihihe gito?
Rupfu: Akazi kange ntigahoraho nasinye contrat.
Marcel:Izarangira ryari?
Rupfu: Eeeh! Sha ba boss bange(Imana na Satani), bayimbwiye mumagambo mpita nibagirwa pe! N’uyumunsi wabona mpagariswe ariko ngakora neza.
Marcel: Ubundi ugira biro (Office)
Rupfu: Nta biro ngira mbera hose icyarimwe.
Marcel: Nta bindi binyabuzima bigufasha muri ako kazi?
Rupfu: Eeeeh!Ndabifite byinshi.
Marcel: Ese ko inyoko muntu ikuvuma cyane ngo uri mubi ntabwoba biguteye?
Rupfu: Hahahahaaaa!Ntabwoba binteye nabusa,mfa kuba noza umurimo wange natumwe.
Marcel: Ntakimenyane ukoresha iyo ujya kwica?
Rupfu: Mukazi kange nkoresha transparence, Sinakira Ruswa kandi ntakimenyane ngira.
Marcel: Ese ubundi ufite abavandimwe?
Rupfu: Ntamuvandimwe ngira ndi ikinege.
Marcel: Amakuru yieirwa kandi akarara mu isi ngo ni uko udateguza kandi ntuhungwe ibyo nibyo?
Rupfu: Guteguza byo ntibindeba nkeka ko abantuma( ba boss bange) baba babanje guteguza naho kumpungabyo ntaho wampungira pe!
Marcel: Muri ba boss bawe ninde ukomeye?
Rupfu: Imana irakomeye Sana! Hari nabo Satani intuma nabageraho bikanga cyangwa nashobora kubica Imana ikongera ikabaha ubuzima.
Marcel: Ese ikiremwa wishe ugishyirahe?
Rupfu: Mperuka nkica sinongera kukibona.
Marcel: Ni iki wantuma ngo nzakubwirire ibinyabuzima cyane cyane inyoko muntu nange ndimo?
Rupfu: Sha inyoko muntu yaranyijunditse ngo ngira nabi kandi abanyijundika ni abazima naho uwo njyanye ntacyo avuga. Uazabambwirireko ntari umugome ko ari akazi.
Marcel: Ni iyihe nama wangira hamwe ni inyoko muntu?
Rupfu: Umuboss wange witwa Imana ni mwiza cyane mujye mumwuha. Uziko hari abo ajya antuma ajyiye kubaha Promotion no kubahembera imirimo yabo myiza? Kabisa mujye mumukunda kandi mumwumvire naho njyewe ntacyo ntwaye pe!
Marcel: Ningera ku Mana nzayikubwirire ngo iki?
Rupfu: Ntacyo gusa uzayimbwirire ibwire abawe ntibazanyite umugome kuko nzaba nakwishe ikuntumye. Ahubwo giravuba ujyeyo kuko wasanga ikuntumye nonaha.
Marcel: Bye bye Rupfu!!!
NJYE SI NDI NJYE, NDI NJYE WOWE!
Rwanda
Marcel: Ubundi izina ryawe ni irihe?
Rupfu: Nitwa Rupfu
Marcel:Uretse umurimo wo kwica ubundi ntakandi kazi ufite?
Rupfu: Hahahaha!!!Urumva nshobora kukavanga n’akandi kazi nkabishobora?eh! niko konyine nkora kandi karavunanye kuko ngakora ijoro n’amanywa.
Marcel: Karakuvuna? Ariko ubona ibihembo bitubutse?
Rupfu: Sinkorera igihembo ndi umukoranabushake.
Marcel: Ese ubundi ukorera nde?
Rupfu:Nkorera Imana na Satani (Shitani)
Marcel: Akazi kawe gahoraho? Cyangwa n’ak’ihihe gito?
Rupfu: Akazi kange ntigahoraho nasinye contrat.
Marcel:Izarangira ryari?
Rupfu: Eeeh! Sha ba boss bange(Imana na Satani), bayimbwiye mumagambo mpita nibagirwa pe! N’uyumunsi wabona mpagariswe ariko ngakora neza.
Marcel: Ubundi ugira biro (Office)
Rupfu: Nta biro ngira mbera hose icyarimwe.
Marcel: Nta bindi binyabuzima bigufasha muri ako kazi?
Rupfu: Eeeeh!Ndabifite byinshi.
Marcel: Ese ko inyoko muntu ikuvuma cyane ngo uri mubi ntabwoba biguteye?
Rupfu: Hahahahaaaa!Ntabwoba binteye nabusa,mfa kuba noza umurimo wange natumwe.
Marcel: Ntakimenyane ukoresha iyo ujya kwica?
Rupfu: Mukazi kange nkoresha transparence, Sinakira Ruswa kandi ntakimenyane ngira.
Marcel: Ese ubundi ufite abavandimwe?
Rupfu: Ntamuvandimwe ngira ndi ikinege.
Marcel: Amakuru yieirwa kandi akarara mu isi ngo ni uko udateguza kandi ntuhungwe ibyo nibyo?
Rupfu: Guteguza byo ntibindeba nkeka ko abantuma( ba boss bange) baba babanje guteguza naho kumpungabyo ntaho wampungira pe!
Marcel: Muri ba boss bawe ninde ukomeye?
Rupfu: Imana irakomeye Sana! Hari nabo Satani intuma nabageraho bikanga cyangwa nashobora kubica Imana ikongera ikabaha ubuzima.
Marcel: Ese ikiremwa wishe ugishyirahe?
Rupfu: Mperuka nkica sinongera kukibona.
Marcel: Ni iki wantuma ngo nzakubwirire ibinyabuzima cyane cyane inyoko muntu nange ndimo?
Rupfu: Sha inyoko muntu yaranyijunditse ngo ngira nabi kandi abanyijundika ni abazima naho uwo njyanye ntacyo avuga. Uazabambwirireko ntari umugome ko ari akazi.
Marcel: Ni iyihe nama wangira hamwe ni inyoko muntu?
Rupfu: Umuboss wange witwa Imana ni mwiza cyane mujye mumwuha. Uziko hari abo ajya antuma ajyiye kubaha Promotion no kubahembera imirimo yabo myiza? Kabisa mujye mumukunda kandi mumwumvire naho njyewe ntacyo ntwaye pe!
Marcel: Ningera ku Mana nzayikubwirire ngo iki?
Rupfu: Ntacyo gusa uzayimbwirire ibwire abawe ntibazanyite umugome kuko nzaba nakwishe ikuntumye. Ahubwo giravuba ujyeyo kuko wasanga ikuntumye nonaha.
Marcel: Bye bye Rupfu!!!
NJYE SI NDI NJYE, NDI NJYE WOWE!
Rwanda
JUNIOR IS CURIOUS ABOUT THIS
A Little kid "junior" is taking a
shower with his mother
and says, “Mom, what
are those things on your
chest!?” Unsure of how
to reply, she tells
junior to ask his dad
at breakfast tomorrow,
quite certain the matter
would be forgotten.
Junior didn’t forget.
The following morning
he asked his father the
same question. His
father, always quick
with the answers,
says, “Why junior,
those are balloons.
When your mommy
dies, we can blow them
up and she’ll float to
heaven.” junior thinks
that’s neat and
asks no more questions.
A few weeks later,
Akpors’s dad comes
home from work a few
hours early. Junior runs
out of the house crying
hysterically, “Daddy!
Daddy! Mommy’s
dying!!” His father says,
“Calm down son! Why
do you think Mommy’s
dying?” “Uncle Tony
Uche is blowing up
Mommy’s’ balloons and
she’s Screaming, “Oh
God, I’m coming!”
shower with his mother
and says, “Mom, what
are those things on your
chest!?” Unsure of how
to reply, she tells
junior to ask his dad
at breakfast tomorrow,
quite certain the matter
would be forgotten.
Junior didn’t forget.
The following morning
he asked his father the
same question. His
father, always quick
with the answers,
says, “Why junior,
those are balloons.
When your mommy
dies, we can blow them
up and she’ll float to
heaven.” junior thinks
that’s neat and
asks no more questions.
A few weeks later,
Akpors’s dad comes
home from work a few
hours early. Junior runs
out of the house crying
hysterically, “Daddy!
Daddy! Mommy’s
dying!!” His father says,
“Calm down son! Why
do you think Mommy’s
dying?” “Uncle Tony
Uche is blowing up
Mommy’s’ balloons and
she’s Screaming, “Oh
God, I’m coming!”
POLICE
Police : where do u live?
Peter : with my parents.
Police : where does your parents live?
Peter: with me
police: where do u all live?
Peter: together
police : where is your house?
Peter : next to my neighbour's house.
Police : where is your neighbour's house!
Peter: if i tell you, u wont believe me!
Police : (angry) TELL ME!!
Peter: NEXT TO MY HOUSE!!
Peter : with my parents.
Police : where does your parents live?
Peter: with me
police: where do u all live?
Peter: together
police : where is your house?
Peter : next to my neighbour's house.
Police : where is your neighbour's house!
Peter: if i tell you, u wont believe me!
Police : (angry) TELL ME!!
Peter: NEXT TO MY HOUSE!!